What a Strange World
by hosters
Summary: Jeb found a book on a raid called The Host. What will happen when they read it? Follow Wanda, Ian, Melanie, Jared, Kyle, Doc, and Jeb as they read THE HOST. R&R! Disclaimer: I do not own The Host. Stephenie Meyer does.
1. Prologue

**Hey guys! This is my first fanfic! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Host. The beautiful and talented Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Prologue**

* * *

Wanda, Ian, Jared, and Mel had just finished unloading from the raid when Jeb stopped them in the hall.

"Come with me to the hospital. This is urgent." Jeb said using the most serious tone he had. They followed him to the hospital to find Doc and Kyle there too. Only then did they realize that Jeb was holding a book in his hand.

"What's the meaning of this, Jeb?" asked Jared.

Jeb held up the book and tossed it to Ian.

"Read the title." He instructed.

"The Host. What's the big deal over this?" Ian questioned.

"Read the back."

Ian scanned through it and gasped.

"Oh my god." He said.

"What?" Jared asked impatiently.

**Melanie Stryder refuses to fade away. The Earth has been invaded by a species that takes over the minds of their human hosts, and most of humanity is succumbed.**

**Wanderer, the invading "soul" who has been given Melanie's body, was warned about the challenges of living inside a human: the overwhelming emotions, the too vivid memories. But she did not expect that Melanie would refuse to relinquish possession of her mind.**

**Melanie fills Wanderer's thoughts with visions of the man Melanie loves-Jared, a human who still lives in hiding. Unable to separate herself from her body's desires, Wanderer begins to yearn for a man she's never met. As outside forces make Wanderer and Melanie unwilling allies, they set off to search for the man they both love.**

"Holy crap! This is about us!" Melanie exclaimed.

"Where did you find this Jeb?" Wanda asked.

"On the raid. It was by the truck when I came out to help load the stuff." Jeb explained.

"Well, let's read this thing and see if what it says really happened. Who wants to read first?" asked Kyle. "I will." Doc responded while grabbing the book.

* * *

**What did you think? Please review and tell me what you think!**

**hosters**


	2. Inserted

**Hey guys! This is my first fanfic and I'm really glad you guys like it! Enjoy Chapter 1!**

**Hosters**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_The Host_****. Stephenie Meyer does.**

* * *

**"Prologue – Inserted," **Jeb read.

**The Healer's name was Fords Deep Waters.**

"Wow. They come up with the craziest names these days," Kyle chuckled.

**Because he was a soul, by nature he was all things good: compassionate, patient, honest, virtuous, and full of love. Anxiety was an unusual emotion for Fords Deep Waters.**

**Irritation was even rarer. However, because Fords Deep Waters lived inside a human body, irritation was sometimes inescapable.**

"He seems like a nice guy," Doc commented before reading again.

**As the whispers of the healing students buzzed in the far corner of the operation room, his lips pressed together into a tight line.**

**The expression felt out of place on a mouth more often given to smiling.**

**Darren, his regular assistant, saw the grimace and patted his shoulder.**

**"They're just curious, Fords," He said quietly.**

**"An insertion is hardly an interesting or challenging procedure."**

"But it was for us," Jeb mumbled, but Doc ignored his comment and continued.

**"Any soul on the street could perform it in an emergency. There is nothing for them to learn by observing today." Fords was surprised by to hear the sharp edge marring his normally soothing voice.**

**"They've never seen a grown human before," Darren said.**

**"**But aren't they grown humans?" Jared asked.

**Fords raised one eyebrow. "Are they blind to each other's faces? Do they not have mirrors?"**

Everyone in the room chuckled.

**"You know what I mean – a wild human. Still soulless. One of the insurgents."**

**Fords looked at the girl's unconscious body laid out facedown on the operating table. Pity swelled his heart as he remembered the condition her poor, broken body had been in when the Seekers had brought her to the Healing Facility. Such pain she'd endured….**

Melanie and Wanda both winced at the memory.

**Of course she was perfect now – completely healed. Fords had seen to that.**

**"She looks the same as any of us," Fords murmured to Darren.**

**"We all have human faces. And when she wakes up, she will be one of us, too."**

**"It's just exciting for them, that's all.**

**"The soul we implant today deserves more respect than to have her host body gawked at this way. She'll already have far too much to deal with as she acclimates. It's not fair to put her through this"**

**By ****_this, _****he did not mean the gawking. Fords heard the sharp edge return to his voice.**

**Darren patted him again.**

**"It will be fine. The Seeker needs information and – "**

**At the word ****_Seeker_****, Fords gave Darren a look that could only be described as a glare. Darren blinked in shock.**

"He glared at him. So what?" Kyle said.

"Their souls, remember, Kyle?" Jared said.

"Oh..."

"Idiot," Ian muttered but Kyle heard him anyways.

"You got the brains, I got the looks. Remember?" Kyle said.

"Actually, I think Ian got both." Wanda said.

Everybody else in the room laughed while Kyle glared at Wanda. Ian then pulled Wanda into a kiss.

"Get a room you guys!" Jared said.

Wanda blushed and Doc continued.

**"I'm sorry," Fords apologized at once. "I didn't mean to react so negatively. It's just that I fear for this soul."**

**His eyes moved to the cryotank on its stand beside the table. The light was a steady, dull red, indicating that it was occupied and in hibernation mode.**

**"This soul was specifically picked for this assignment," Darren said soothingly. "She is exceptional among our kind – braver than most. Her lives speak for themselves. I think she would volunteer, if it were possible to ask her."**

Wanda was starting to blush.

"Would you volunteer, Wanda?" Jeb asked curiously.

"I'm not sure," Wanda replied.

**"Who among us would not volunteer if asked to do something for the greater good? But is that really the case here? Is the greater good served by this? The question is not her willingness, but what it is right to ask any soul to bear."**

**The Healing students were discussing the hibernating soul as well. Fords could hear the whispers clearly; their voices rising now, getting louder with their excitement.**

**"She's lived on six planets."**

**"I heard seven."**

**"I heard she's never lived two terms as the same host species."**

**"Is that possible?"**

**"She's been almost everything. A Flower, a Bear, a Spider – " **

**"A See Weed, a Bat – "**

**"Even a Dragon!"**

**"I don't believe it – not even seven planets."**

**"At least seven planets. She started on the Origin."**

**"Really? The Origin?"**

Wanda blushed even more.

"Seems like we got a celebrity here with us," Jeb teased.

"I'm not really a celebrity. I'm just a normal soul." She mumbled looking down.

"You're my soul," Ian said as he kissed the top of her head.

**"Quiet, please!" Fords interrupted. "If you cannot observe professionally and silently, then I will have to ask you to remove yourselves."**

**Abashed, the six students fell silent and edged away from one another.**

**"Let's get on with this, Darren."**

**Everything was prepared. The appropriate medicines were laid out beside the human girl. Her long dark hair was secured beneath a surgical cap, exposing her slender neck. Deeply sedated, she breathed slowly in and out. Her sun – browned skin had barely a mark to show for her… accident.**

**"Begin thaw sequence now, please, Darren."**

**The gray – haired assistant was already waiting beside the cryotank, his hand resting on the dial. He flipped the safety back and spun down on the dial. The red light atop the small gray cylinder began to pulse, flashing faster as the seconds passed, changing color.**

**Fords concentrated on the unconscious body; he edged the scalpel through the skin at the base of the subject's skull with small, precise movements, and then sprayed on the medication that stilled the excess flow of blood before he widened the fissure.**

"Remind me to get some of that on the next raid," Jared said.

**Fords delved delicately beneath the neck muscles, careful not to injure them, exposing the pale bones at the top of the spinal column.**

Melanie shuddered at the description. After all, it was her body he was sticking his hands into.

**"The soul is ready, Fords," Darren informed him.**

**"So am I. Bring her."**

**Fords felt Darren at his elbow and knew without looking that his assistant would be prepared, his hand stretched out and waiting; they had worked together for many years now. Fords held the gap open.**

**"Send her home," he whispered.**

**Darren's hand moved into view, the silver gleam of an awaking soul in his cupped palm.**

**Fords never saw an exposed soul without being struck by the beauty of it.**

"Who wouldn't be?" Ian murmured.

This brought back memories for Wanda, and probably Ian, too.

_"I held you in my hand, Wanderer. And you were so beautiful." _Ian said to her when she was first inserted into Pet.

She smiled at the memory.

**The soul shone in the brilliant lights of the operating room, brighter than the reflective silver instrument in his hand. Like a living ribbon, she twisted and rippled, stretching, happy to be free of the cryotank. Her thin, feathery attachments, nearly a thousand of them,**

"A _thousand?" _Kyle asked, clearly stunned.

"Could you tell us more about that?" Jeb asked curiously. Jeb. Always curious.

**billowed softly like pale silver hair. Though they were all lovely, this one seemed particularly graceful to Fords Deep Waters.**

**He was not alone in his reaction. He heard Darren's soft sigh, heard the admiring murmurs of the students.**

**Gently, Darren placed the small glistening creature inside the opening Fords had made in the human's neck. The soul slid smoothly into the offered space, weaving herself into the alien anatomy. Fords admired the skill with which she possessed her new home. Her attachments wound tightly into place around the nerve centers, some elongating and reaching deeper to where he couldn't see, under and up into the brain, the optic nerves, the ear canals. She was very quick, very firm in her movements. Soon, only one small segment of her glistening body was visible.**

**"Well done," he whispered to her, knowing that she could not hear him. The human girl was the one with ears, and she slept soundly.**

**It was a routine matter to finish the job. He cleaned and healed the wound, applied the salve that sealed the incision closed behind the soul, and then brushed the scar – softening powder across the line left on her neck.**

**"Perfect, as usual," said the assistant, who, for some reason unfathomable to Fords, had never made a change from his host's human name, Darren.**

**Fords sighed. "I regret this day's work."**

"Why?" Doc and Jeb said simultaneously.

**"You're only doing your duty as a Healer."**

**"This is a rare occasion when Healing creates an injury."**

**Darren began to clean up the workstation. He didn't seem to know how to answer. Fords was filling his Calling. That was enough for Darren.**

**But not enough for Fords Deep Waters,**

"Why?" Doc asked again.

**who was a true Healer to the core of his being. He gazed anxiously at the human female's body, peaceful in slumber, knowing that this peace would be shattered as soon as she awoke. All the horror of this young woman's end would be borne by the innocent soul he'd just placed inside her.**

**As he leaned over the human and whispered in her ear, Fords wished fervently that the soul inside could hear him now.**

**"Good luck, little wanderer, good luck. How I wish you didn't need it."**

"Thank you," Wanda said as if he could hear her now.

"That's the end of the chapter. Who wants to read next?" Doc asked.

"I'll read," Jared answered. He was eager to find out what happened when she woke up.


	3. Remembered

**"Remembered," Jared read.**

Everyone in the room could see where this chapter was going.

**I knew it would begin with the end, and the end would look like death to these eyes. I had been warned.**

**Not ****_these_**** eyes. ****_My _****eyes. Mine. This was ****_me _****now.**

**The language I found myself using was odd, nut it made sense. Choppy, boxy, blind, and linear. Impossibly crippled in comparison to many I'd used, yet it still managed to find fluidity and expression. Sometimes beauty. My language now. My native tongue.**

**With the truest instinct of my kind, I'd bound myself securely into the body's center of thought, twined myself inescapably into its every breath and reflex until it was no longer a separate entity. It was me.**

**Not ****_the_**** body, ****_my_**** body.**

**I felt the sedation wearing off and lucidity taking its place. I braced myself for the onslaught of the first memory, which would really be the last memory – the last moments this body had experienced, the memory of end.**

Jared shuddered at the word, end.

**I had been warned thoroughly of what would happen now. These human emotions would be stronger, more vital than the feelings of any other species I had been.**

"You got that right," Wanda muttered.

**I had to try to prepare myself.**

**The memory came. And, as I'd been warned, it was not something that could ever be prepared for.**

**It seared with sharp color and ringing sound. Cold on her skin, pain gripping her limbs, burning them.**

Jared was reading a little faster now with a sharp edge to his voice.

**The taste was fiercely metallic in her mouth. And there was the new sense, the fifth sense I'd never had, that took the particles from the air and transformed them into strange messages and pleasures and warnings in her brain – scents. They were distracting, confusing to me, but not her memory. The memory had no time for the novelties of smell. The memory was only fear.**

**Fear locked her in a vise, goading the blunt, clumsy limbs forward but hampering them at the same time. To flee, to run – it was all she could do.**

**_I've failed._**

"You didn't, Mel," Jared murmured.

"If anything you succeeded," Wanda said.

**The memory that was not mine was so frighteningly strong and clear that it sliced through my control – overwhelmed and detachment, the knowledge that this was just a memory and not me. Sucked into hell that was the last minute of her life, I was she, and we were running.**

**It's so dark. I can't see the floor. I can't see my hands stretched out in front of me. I run blind and try to hear the pursuit I can feel behind me, but the pulse is so loud behind my ears it drowns everything else out. **

**It's cold. It shouldn't matter now, but it hurts. I'm so cold.**

Jared shuddered at the thought of Mel in pain.

**The air in her nose was uncomfortable. Bad. A bad smell. For one second, the discomfort pulled me free of the memory. But it was only a second, and then I was dragged in again, and my eyes filled with horrifies tears.**

**I'm lost, we're lost. It's over.**

**They're right behind me now, loud and close. There are so many footsteps! I am alone. I've failed.**

**The Seekers**

Everyone in the room shuddered.

**are calling. The sound of their voices twists my stomach. I'm going to be sick.**

**"It's fine, it's fine," one lies, trying to calm me, to slow me. Her voice is disturbed by the effort of her breathing.**

**"Be careful!" another shouts in warning. A deep voice, full of concern.**

**Concern!**

"Of course concern," Wanda says. "They might hate humans, but they still don't want you to get hurt."

**Heat shot through my veins, and a violent hatred nearly choked me.**

**I had never felt such an emotion as this in all my lives. For another second, my revulsion pulled me away from the memory. A high, shrill keening pierced my ears and pulsed in my head. The sound scraped through my airways. There was a weak pain in my throat.**

**_Screaming, _****my body explained. ****_You're screaming._**

"And this is the lovely moment when Wanda learned I was there, too." Mel said.

Everyone laughed at Mel's comment.

**I froze in shock, and the sound broke off abruptly.**

**This was not a memory.**

**My body – she was ****_thining! Speaking _****to me!**

**But the memory was stronger, in that moment, than my astonishment.**

**"Please!" they cry. "There is danger ahead!"**

**_The danger is behind! _****I scream back in my mind. But I see what they mean. A feeble stream of light, coming from who knows where, shines on the end of the hall. It is not the flat wall or the locked door, the dead end I feared and expected. It is a black hole.**

**An elevator shaft. Abandoned, empty, and condemned, like this building. Once a hiding place, now a tomb.**

Jared's voice faltered near the end.

"Jared, remember, it didn't end up as a tomb. I'm still here." Mel murmured.

Jared nodded and continued.

**A surge of relief flood through me as I race forward. There is a way. No way to survive, but perhaps a way to win.**

**_No, no, no! _****This thought was all mine, and I fought to pull myself away from her, but we were together. And we sprinted for the edge of death.**

**"Please!" The shouts are more desperate.**

**I feel like laughing when I know that I am fast enough. I imagine their hands clutching fro me just inches behind my back. But I am as fast as I need to be. I don't even pause at the end of the floor. The hole rises to meet me midstride.**

**The emptiness swallows me. My legs flail, useless. My hands grip the air, claw through it, searching for anything solid. Cold blows past me like tornado winds.**

**I hear a thud before I feel it… The wind is gone… And the pain is everywhere… Pain is everything.**

**Make it stop.**

Jared stopped reading for a few seconds, catching his breath. Melanie was there by his side, whispering reassurances to him.

**_Not high enough, _****I whisper to myself through pain. When will the pain end? When…?**

**The blackness swallowed up the agony, and I was weak with gratitude that the memory had come to this most final of conclusions. The blackness took all, and I was free. I took a deep breath to steady myself, as was this body's habit. ****_My _****body.**

**But then the color rushed back, the memory reared up and engulfed me again.**

**_No! _****I panicked, fearing the cold and the pain and the very fear itself.**

**But this was not the same memory. This was a memory within a memory – a final memory, like the last gasp of air – yet, somehow, even stronger than the first.**

**The blackness took all but this: a face.**

Everyone in the room looked at Jared.

**The face was an alien to me as the faceless serpentine tentacles of my last host body would be to this new body. I'd seen this kind of face in the images I had been given to prepare for this world. It was hard to tell them apart, to see the tiny variations in color and shape that were the only markers of the individual. So much the same, all of them. Noses centered in the middle of the sphere, eyes above and mouths below, ears around the sides. A collection of senses, all but touch, concentrated in one place. Skin over bones, hair growing on the crown and in strange furry lines above the eyes.**

"Their called eyebrows ya' know," Mel said while waggling hers.

Wanda laughed. "I know that now."

**Some had more fur lower down on the jaw; those were always males. The colors ranged through the brown scale from pale cream to a deep almost – black. Aside from that, how to know one from the other?**

**This face I would have known among millions.**

**This face was hard rectangle, the shape of the bones strong under the skin. In color it was a light golden brown. The hair was just a few shades darker than the skin, except where flaxen streaks lightened it, and it covered only the head and odd fur stripes over the eyes. The circular irises in the white eyeballs were darker than the hair, flecked with light. There were small lines around the eyes, and her memories told me the lines were from smiling and squinting in the sunlight.**

**I knew nothing of what passed for beauty among these strangers, and yet I knew that this face was beautiful. I wanted to keep looking at it. As soon as I realized this, it disappeared.**

**_Mine, _****spoke the alien thought that should not have existed.**

**Again, I was frozen, stunned. There should have been no one here but me. And yet this thought was so strong and so aware!**

**Impossible. How was she still here? This was me now.**

**_Mine, _****I rebuked her, the power and authority that belonged to me alone flowing through the word. ****_Everything is mine._**

"Man, we hated each other," Melanie laughed.

Wanda laughed as well.

**_So why am I talking back to her? _****I wondered as the voices interrupted my thoughts.**

"That's it. Who's reading next?" Jared asked.

"I'll read," Jeb said and Jared passed the book.


	4. Overheard

**Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update! Here's chapter 3!**

**Hosters**

* * *

**"Overheard," **Jeb read.

**The voices were soft and close and, though I was only now aware of them, apparently in the middle of a murmured conversation.**

**"I'm afraid it's too much for her," one said. The voice was soft but deep, male. "Too much for anyone. Such violence!" The tone of revulsion."**

**"She only screamed once," said a higher, reedy, female voice, pointing this out with a hint of glee, as if she were winning an argument.**

**"I know," the man admitted. "She is very strong. Others have had much more trauma, with much less cause."**

"Really?" Doc asked.

"Souls aren't used to violence, remember?" Wanda asked.

**"I'm sure she'll be fine, just as I told you."**

**"Maybe you missed your Calling." There was an edge to the man's voice. Sarcasm, my memory named it. "Perhaps you were meant to be a Healer, like me."**

**The woman made a sound of amusement. Laughter. "I doubt that. We Seekers prefer a different sort of diagnosis."**

**My body knew the word, this title: ****_Seeker. _****It sent a shudder of fear down my spine.**

As it did to everyone in the room.

**A leftover reaction. Of course, ****_I _****had no reason to fear Seekers.**

**"I sometimes wonder if the infection of humanity touches those in your profession," the man mused, his voice still sour with annoyance. "Violence is part of your life choice. Does enough of your body's native temperament liner to give you enjoyment of the horror?"**

**I was surprised at his accusation, at his tone. This discussion was almost like… an argument. Something my host was familiar with but I'd never experienced.**

**The woman was defensive. "We do not choose violence. We face it when we must. And it's a good thing for the rest of you that some of us are strong enough for the unpleasantness. Your peace would be shattered without our work."**

**"Once upon a time. Your vocation will soon be obsolete, I think."**

**"The error of that statement lies on the bed there."**

**"One human girl, alone and unharmed! Yes, quite a threat to our peace."**

"I'm really starting to like this Fords guy." Kyle said. "Nice, but with an attitude."

**The woman breathed out heavily. A sigh. "But where did she come from? How did she appear in the middle of Chicago, a city long since civilized, hundreds of miles from any trace of rebel activity? Did she manage it alone?"**

**She listed questions without seeming to seek an answer, as if she had already voiced them many times.**

**"That's your problem, not mine," the man said. "My job is to help this soul adapt herself to her new host without unnecessary pain or trauma. And you are here to interfere with my job."**

**Still slowly surfacing, acclimating myself to this new world of senses, I understood only now that I was the subject of the conversation. I was the soul they spoke of. It was a new connotation to the word, a word that had meant many other things to my host. On every planet we took a different name. ****_Soul. _****I suppose it was an apt description. The unseen force that guides the body.**

**"The answers to my questions matter as much as your responsibilities to the soul."**

**"That's debatable."**

**There was the sound of movement, and her voice was suddenly a whisper. "When will she become responsive? The sedation must be about to wear off."**

**"When she's ready. Leave her be. She deserves to handle the situation however she finds most comfortable. Imagine the shock of her awakening – inside a rebel host injured to the point of death in an escape attempt! No one should have to endure such trauma in times of peace!" His voice rose with the increase of emotion.**

**"She is strong." The woman's tone was reassuring now. "See how well she did with her first memory. Whatever she expected, she handled this."**

**"Why should she have to?" the man muttered, but he didn't seem to expect an answer.**

**The woman answered anyway. "If we're to get the information we need – "**

**"****_Need _****being your word. I would choose the term ****_want._****"**

**"Then someone must take on the unpleasantness," she continued as if he had not interrupted. "And I think, from all I know of this one, she would accept the challenge if there had been any way to ask her. What do you call her?"**

**The man didn't speak for a long moment. The woman waited.**

**"Wanderer," he finally and unwillingly answered.**

"My beautiful Wanderer," Ian murmured and kissed Wanda on the forehead.

Wanda face turned as red as a tomato and everyone laughed.

**"Fitting," she said. "I don't have any official statistics, but she has to be one of the very few, if not the only one, who has wandered so far. Yes, ****_Wanderer_**** will suit her well until she chooses a new name for herself."**

**He said nothing.**

**"Of course, she may assume the host's name… we found no matches on record for the fingerprints or retinal scan. I can't tell you what that name was."  
"She won't take the human name," the man muttered.**

**Her response was conciliatory. "Everyone finds comfort their own way."**

**"This Wanderer will need more comfort than most, thanks to your style of Seeking."**

**There were sharp sounds – footsteps, staccato against a hard floor. When she spoke again, the woman's voice was across the room from the man.**

**"You would have reacted poorly to the early days of this occupation," she said. **

**"Perhaps you react poorly to peace."**

**The woman laughed, but the sound was false – there was no real amusement. My mind seemed well adapted to inferring the true meanings from tones and inflections.**

**"You do not have a clear perception of what my Calling entails. Long hours hunched over files and maps. Mostly desk work. Not very often the conflict or violence you seem to think it is."**

**"Ten days ago you were armed with killing weapons, running this body down."**

**"The exception, I assure you, not the rule. Do not forget, the weapons that disgust you are turned on our kind wherever we Seekers have not been vigilant enough. The humans kill us happily whenever they have the ability to do so. Those whose lives have been touched by the hostility see us as heroes."**

"Yeah right!" Melanie said.

**"You speak as if a war were raging."**

**"To the remains of the human race, one is."**

**These words were strong in my ears. My body reacted top them; I felt my breathing speed, heard the sound of my heart pumping louder than was usual. Beside the bed I lay on, a machine registered the increases with a muted beeping. The Healer and the Seeker were too involved in their disagreement to notice.**

**"But one that even they must realize is long lost. They are outnumbered by what? A million to one? I imagine you would know."**

**"We estimated the odds are quite a bit higher in our favor," she added grudgingly.**

**The Healer appeared to be content to let his side of the disagreement rest with that information. It was quiet for a moment.**

**I used the empty time to evaluate my situation. Much was obvious.**

**I was in a Healing facility, recovering from an unusually traumatic insertion. I was sure the body that hosted me had been fully healed before it was given to me. A damaged host would have been disposed of.**

**I considered the conflicting opinions of the Healer and the Seeker. According to the information I had been given before making the choice to come here, the Healer had the right of it. Hostilities with the few remaining pockets of humans were all but over. The planet called Earth was as peaceful and serene as it looked from space, invitingly green and blue, wreathed in its harmless white vapors. As was the way of the soul, harmony was a universal now.**

**The verbal discussion between the Healer and the Seeker was out of character. Strangely aggressive for our kind. It made me wonder. Could they be true, the whispered rumors that had undulated like waves through the thoughts of the… of the…**

**I was distracted, trying to find the name for my last host species. We'd had a name, I knew that. But, no longer connected to that host, I could not remember a word. We'd used much simpler language than this, a silent language of thought that connected us all into one great mind. A necessary convenience when one was rooted forever into the wet black soil.**

"It must suck to share one mind." Kyle said.

**I could describe that species in my new human language. We lived on the floor of the great ocean that covered the entire surface of our world – a world that had a name, too, but that was also gone. We each had a hundred arms and on each arm a thousand eyes, so that, with our thoughts connected, not one sight in the vast waters went unseen. There was no need for sound, so there was no way to hear it. We tasted the waters, and, with our sight, that told us all we needed to know. We tasted the suns, so many leagues above the water, and turned their taste into food we needed.**

**I could describe us, but I could not name us. I sighed for the lost knowledge, and then returned my ponderings to what I'd overheard.**

**Souls did not, as a rule, speak anything but the truth. Seekers, of course, had the requirements of their Calling, but between souls there was never reason for a lie. With my last species' language of thought, it would have been impossible to lie, even had we wanted to. However, anchored as we were, we told ourselves stories to alleviate the boredom. Storytelling was the most honored of all talents, for it benefitted everyone.**

"Bet you were good at that, eh, Wanda?" Jeb said while nudging Wanda with his elbow.

**Sometimes, fact mixed with fiction so thoroughly that, though no lies were told, it was hard to remember what was strictly true.**

**When we thought of the new planet – Earth, so dry, so varied, and filled with such violent, destructive denizens we could barely imagine them – our horror was sometimes overshadowed by our excitement. Stories spun themselves quickly around the thrilling new subject. The wars – wars! our kind having to fight! – were first reported accurately and then embellished and fictionalized. When the stories conflicted with the official information I sought out, I naturally believed the first reports.**

**But there were whispers of this: of human hosts so strong that the souls were forced to abandon them. Hosts whose minds could not be completely suppressed. Souls who took on the personality of the body, rather than the other way around. Stories. Wild rumors. Madness.**

**But that seemed almost to be the Healer's accusation….**

**I dismissed the thought. The more likely meaning of his censure was the distaste most of us felt for the Seeker's calling. Who would choose a life of conflict and pursuit? Who would be attracted to the chore of tracking down unwilling hosts and capturing them? Who would have the stomach to face the violence of this particular species, the hostile humans who killed so easily, so thoughtlessly? Here, on this planet, the Seekers had become practically a… militia – my new brain supplied the term for the unfamiliar concept. Most believed that only the least civilized souls, the least evolved, the lesser among us, would be drawn to the path of Seeker.**

**Still, on Earth the Seekers had gained new status. Never before had an occupation gone so awry. Never before had it turned into a fierce and bloody battle. Never before had the lives of so many souls been sacrificed. The Seekers stood as a mighty shield, and the souls of this world were thrice – over indebted to them: for the safety they had carved out of mayhem, for the risk of the final death that they faced willingly every day, and for the new bodies they continued to provide.**

**Now that the danger was virtually past, it appeared the gratitude was fading. And, for this Seeker at least, the change was not a pleasant one.**

**It was easy to imagine what her questions for me would be. Though the Healer was trying to buy me time to adjust to my new body, I knew I would do my best to help the Seeker. Good citizenship was quintessential to every soul.**

"Too self – sacrificing," Ian muttered.

**So I took a deep breath to prepare myself. The monitor registered the movement. I knew I was stalling a bit. I hated to admit it, but I was afraid. To get the information the Seeker needed, I would have to explore the violent memories that had made me scream in horror. More than that, I was afraid of the voice I'd heard so loudly in my head. But she was silent now, as was right. She was just a memory, too.**

**I should not be afraid. After all, I was called Wanderer now. And I'd earned the name.**

**With another deep breath, I delved into the memories that frightened me, faced them head – on with my teeth locked together.**

**I could skip past the end – it didn't overwhelm me now. In fast – forwarding, I ran through the dark again, wincing, trying not to feel. It was over quickly.**

**Once I was through that barrier, it wasn't hard to float through less – alarming things and places, skimming for the information I wanted. I saw how she'd come to this cold city, driving by night in a stolen car chosen for its nondescript appearance. She's walked through the streets of Chicago in the darkness, shivering beneath her coat.**

**She was doing her own seeking. There were others like her here, or so she hoped. One in particular. A friend… no, family. Not a sister… a cousin.**

"Sharon," Mel and Doc said at the same time.

"Shouldn't have bothered," Mel muttered.

**The words came slower and slower, and at first I did not understand why. Was this forgotten? Lost in the trauma of an almost death? Was I still sluggish from unconsciousness? I struggled to think clearly. This sensation was unfamiliar. Was my body still sedated? I felt alert enough, but my mind labored unsuccessfully for the answers I wanted.**

**I tried another avenue of searching, hoping for clearer responses. What was her goal? She would find… Sharon – I fished out the name – and they would…**

**I hit a wall.**

**It was blank, a nothing. I tried to circle around it, but I couldn't find the edges of the void. It was as if the information I sought had been erased.**

**As if this brain had been damaged.**

**Anger flashed through me, hot and wild. I gasped in surprise at the unexpected reaction. I'd heard of the emotional instability of these human bodies, but this was beyond my ability to anticipate. In eight full lives, I'd never had an emotion touch me with such force.**

**I felt the blood pulse through my neck, pounding behind my ears. My hands tightened into fists.**

**The machines beside me reported the acceleration of my heartbeats. There was a reaction in the room: the sharp tap of the Seeker's shoes approached me, mingled with a quieter shuffle that must have been the Healer.**

**"Welcome to Earth, Wanderer," the female voice said.**

"That's it," Jeb said. "Who's reading next?"

"I'll read," Ian said.

"I think the next chapter's the last one for the night." Jeb said.

"Fine," Jared said.


	5. Resisted

Hey guys! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in like forever! I'm so busy these days! I'll try to upload one chapter a week! Hope you enjoy chapter 5!

-_Hosters_

* * *

**"Resisted," **Ian read.

**"She won't recognize the new name," the Healer murmured.**

**A new sensation distracted me. Something pleasant, a change in the air as the Seeker stood at my side. A scent, I realized. Something different from the sterile, odorless room. Perfume, my new mind told me. Floral, lush…**

**"Can you hear me?" the Seeker asked, interrupting my analysis. "Are you aware?"**

**"Take your time," the Healer urged in a softer voice than the one he had used before.**

**I did not open my eyes. I didn't want to be distracted. My mind gave me words I needed, and the tone that would convey what I couldn't say without using many words.**

**"Have I been placed in a damaged host in order to gain the information, Seeker?"**

**There was a gasp – surprise and outrage mingled – and something warm touched my skin, covered my hand.**

**"Of course not, Wanderer," the man said reassuringly. "Even a Seeker would stop at some things."**

**The Seeker gasped again. Hissed, my memory corrected.**

**"Then why does this mind function correctly?"**

"It does, it's just that I'm there," Melanie stated.

"I didn't know that at the time," Wanda defended herself.

**There was a pause.**

**"The scans were perfect," the Seeker said. Her words not reassuring but argumentative. Did she mean to quarrel with me? "The body was entirely healed."**

**"From a suicide attempt that was perilously close to succeeding." My tone was stiff, still angry. I wasn't used to anger. It was hard to contain it.**

**"Everything was in perfect order – "**

**The healer cut her off. "What is missing?" he asked. "Clearly, you've accessed speech."**

**"Memory. I was trying to find what the Seeker wants."**

**Though there was no sound, there was change. The atmosphere, which had gone tense at my accusation, relaxed. I wondered how I knew this. I had a strange sensation that I was somehow receiving more than my five senses were giving me – almost a feeling that there was ****_another _****sense, on the fringes, not quite harnessed. Intuition? That was almost the right word. As if any creature needed more than five senses.**

**The Seeker cleared her throat, but it was the Healer who answered.**

**"Ah," he said. "Don't make yourself anxious about some partial memory… difficulties. That's, well, not to be ****_expected, _****exactly, but not surprising, considering."**

**"I don't understand your meaning."**

**"This host was part of the human resistance." There was a hint of excitement in the Seeker's voice now. "Those humans who were aware of us before insertion are more difficult to subdue. This one still resists."**

**There was a moment of silence while they waited for my response.**

**Resisting? The host was blocking my access? Again, the heat of my anger surprised me.**

**"Am I correctly bound? I asked, my voice distorted because it came through my teeth.**

**"Yes," the Healer said. "All eight hundred twenty – seven points are latched securely in the optimum positions."**

Kyle whistled. "Wow," he said.

**This mind used more of my faculties than any host before, leaving me only one hundred eighty – one spare attachments. Perhaps the numerous bindings were the reason the emotions were so vivid.**

**I decided to open my eyes. I felt the need to double – check the Healer's promises and make sure the rest of me worked.**

**Light. Bright, painful. I closed my eyes again. The last light I had seen had been filtered through a hundred ocean fathoms. But these eyes had seen brighter and could handle it. I opened them narrowly, keeping my eyelashes feathered over the breach.**

**"Would you like me to turn down the lights?"**

**"No, Healer. My eyes will adjust."**

**"Very good," he said, and I understood that his approval was meant for my casual use of the possessive.**

**Both waited quietly while my eyes slowly widened.**

**My mind recognized this as an average room in a medical facility. A hospital. The ceiling tiles were white with darker speckles. The lights were rectangular and the same size as the tiles, replacing them at regular intervals. The walls were light green – a calming color, but also the color of sickness. A poor choice, in my quickly formed opinion.**

**The people facing me were more interesting than the room. The word ****_doctor _****sounded in my mind as soon as my eyes fastened on the Healer. He wore loose – fitting blue green clothes that left his arms bare. Scrubs. He had hair on his face, a strange color that my memory called red.**

**Red! It had been three worlds since I had seen the color or any of its relatives. Even this gingery gold filled me with nostalgia.**

**His face was generically human to me, but the knowledge in my memory applied the word ****_kind._**

**An impatient breath pulled my attention to the Seeker. She was very small. If she had remained still, it would have taken me longer to notice her there beside the Healer. She didn't draw the eye, a darkness in the bright room. She wore black from chin to wrists – a conservative suit with a silk turtleneck underneath. Her hair was black, too. It grew to her chin and was pushed back behind her ears. Her skin was darker than the Healer's. Olive toned.**

**The tiny changes in humans' expressions were so minimal they were very hard to read. My memory could name the look on this woman's face, though. The black brows, slanted down over the slightly bulging eyes, created a familiar design. Not quite anger. Intensity. Irritation.**

**"How often does this happen?" I asked, looking at the Healer again.**

**"Not often," the Healer admitted. "We have so few full – grown hosts available anymore. The immature hosts are entirely pliable. But you indicated that you preferred to begin as an adult…."**

**"Yes."**

**"Most requests are the opposite. The human life span is much shorter than you're used to."**

**"I'm well versed in all the facts, Healer. Have you dealt with this… resistance before yourself?"**

**"Only once, myself."**

**"Tell me the facts of the case." I paused. "Please," I added, feeling the lack of courtesy in my command.**

**The Healer sighed.**

**The Seeker began tapping her fingers against her arm. A sign of impatience. She did not care to wait for what she wanted.**

**"This occurred four years ago," the Healer began. "The soul involved had requested an adult male host. The first one to be available was a human who had been living in a pocket of resistance since the early years of occupation. The human… knew what would happen when he was caught."**

**"Just as my host did."**

**"Um, yes." He cleared his throat. "This was only the soul's second life. He came from the Blind World."**

"Blind World?" Doc asked. "You never told us about that one."

"It's another name for the Singing World." Wanda responded. _I thought I told them this_, she thought.

"With the bats?" Jeb asked.

"Yep."

**"BlindWorld?" I asked, cocking my head to the side reflexively.**

**"Oh, sorry, you wouldn't know our nicknames. This was one of yours, though, was it not?" He pulled a device from his pocket, a computer, and scanned quickly. "Yes, your seventh planet. In the eighty – first sector."**

**"****_Blind _****World?" I said again, my voice now disapproving. **

**"Yes, well, some who have lived there prefer to call it the Singing World."**

**I nodded slowly. I liked that better.**

**"And some who've never been there call it the Planet of the Bats," the Seeker muttered.**

**I turned my eyes to her, feeling them narrow as my mind dredged up the appropriate image of the ugly flying rodent she referred to.**

**"I assume you are one who has never lived there, Seeker," the Healer said lightly. "We called this soul Racing Song at first – it was a loose translation of his name on… the Singing World. But he soon opted to take the name of his host, Kevin. Though he was slated for a Calling in Musical Performance, given his background, he said he felt more comfortable continuing in the host's previous line of work, which was mechanical.**

**"These signs were somewhat worrisome to his assigned Comforter, but they were well within normal bounds.**

**"Then Kevin started to complain that he was blacking out for periods of time. They brought him back to me, and we ran extensive tests to make sure there was no hidden flaw in the host's brain. During the testing, several Healers noted marked differences in his behavior and personality. When we questioned him about this, he claimed to have no memory of certain statements and actions. We continued to observe him, along with his Comforter, and eventually discovered that the host was periodically taking control of Kevin's body."**

**"Taking control?" My eyes strained wide. "With the soul unaware? The host took the body back?"**

**"Sadly, yes. Kevin was not strong enough to suppress this host."  
Not strong enough.**

**Would they think me weak as well? ****_Was _****I weak,**

"Wanda," Ian murmured. "You're not weak. Stop thinking you are. You are the strongest person I know." He said, true genuine in his voice.

"And you're the strongest person I know," she replied.

He leaned forward to kiss her but he was interrupted by a cough. It was Kyle of course, obviously annoyed at their PDA.

"Please don't kiss here," he pleaded. "You can continue that when you're in your room!"

**that I could not force this mind to answer my questions? Weaker still, because her living thoughts existed in my head where there should be nothing but memory? I'd always thought of myself as strong. This idea of weakness made me flinch. Made me feel shame.**

**The Healer continued. "Certain events occurred, and it was decided – "**

**"What events?"**

**The Healer looked down without answering.**

**_"What events?" _****I demanded again. "I believe I have a right to know."**

**The healer sighed. "You do. Kevin… physically attacked a Healer while not… himself." He winced. "He knocked the Healer unconscious with a blow from his fist and then found a scalpel on her person. We found him insensible. The host tried to cut the soul out of his body."**

"At least I was never crazy enough to do _that,_" Melanie said.

"Thank the heavens you didn't," Wanda said.

**It took a moment before I could speak. Even then, my voice was just a breath. "What happened to them?"**

**"Luckily, the host was unable to stay conscious long enough to inflict real damage. Kevin was relocated, into an immature host this time. The troublesome host was in poor repair, and it was decided there wasn't much point in saving him.**

**"Kevin is seven human years old now and perfectly normal… aside from the fact that he kept the name Kevin, that is. His guardians are taking great care that he is heavily exposed to music, and that is coming along well…" The last part was added as if it were good news – news that could somehow cancel out the rest.**

**"Why?" I cleared my throat so that my voice could gain some volume. "Why have these risks not been shared?"**

**"Actually," the Seeker broke in, "it is very clearly stated in all recruitment propaganda that assimilating the remaining adult human hosts is much more challenging than assimilating a child. An immature host is highly recommended."**

**"The word ****_challenging _****does not quite cover Kevin's story," I whispered.**

**"Yes, well, you preferred to ignore the recommendation." She held up her hands in a peacemaking gesture when my body tensed, causing the stiff fabric on the narrow bed to crackle softly. "Not that I blame you. Childhood is extraordinarily tedious. And you are clearly not the average soul. I have every confidence that this is well within your abilities to handle. This is just another host. I'm sure you will have full access and control shortly."**

**By the point in my observations of the Seeker, I was surprised that she'd had the patience to wait for any delay, even my personal acclimatization. I sensed her disappointment in my lack of information, and it brought back some of the unfamiliar feelings of anger.**

**"Did it not occur to you that you could get the answers you seek by being inserted into this body yourself?" I asked.**

**She stiffened. "I'm no skipper."**

**My eyebrows pulled up automatically.**

**"Another nickname," the Healer explained. "For those who do not complete a life term in their host."**

**I nodded in understanding. We'd had a name for it on my other worlds. On no world was it smiled upon. So I quit quizzing the Seeker and gave her what I could.**

**"Her name was Melanie Stryder. She was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She was in Los Angeles when the occupation became known to her, and she hid in the wilderness for a few years before finding… Hmmm. Sorry, I'll try that one later. The body has seen twenty years. She drove to Chicago from…" I shook my head. "There were several stages, not all of them alone. The vehicle was stolen. She was searching for a cousin named Sharon, whom she had reason to hope was still human. She neither found nor contacted anyone before she was spotted. But…" I struggled, fighting against another blank wall. "I think… I can't be sure… I think she left a note… somewhere."**

**"So she expected someone would look for her?" the Seeker asked eagerly.**

**"Yes. She will be… missed. I she does not rendezvous with…" I gritted my teeth, truly fighting now. The wall was black, and I could not tell how thick it was. I battered against it, sweat beading on my forehead. The Seeker and the Healer were very quiet, allowing me to concentrate.**

**I tried thinking of something else – the loud unfamiliar noises the engine of the car had made, the jittery rush of adrenaline every time the lights of another vehicle drew near on the road. I already had this, and nothing fought me. I already had this, and nothing fought me. I let the memory carry me along, let it skip over the cold hike through the city under the sheltering darkness of night, let it wind its way to the building where they'd found me.**

**Not me, ****_her_****. My body shuddered.**

**"Don't overextend – "the Healer began.**

**The Seeker shushed him.**

"This Seeker is determined," Jared said. "She must really want that information."

"And the fact that she had Lacey in her head," Wanda said. "Who wouldn't be like that?"

**I let my mind dwell on the horror of discovery, the burning hatred of the Seekers that overpowered almost everything else. The hatred was evil; it was pain. I could hardly bear to feel it. But I let it run its course, hoping it would distract the resistance, weaken the defenses.**

**I watched carefully as she tried to hide and then knew she could not. A note, scratched on a piece of debris with a broken pencil. Shoved hastily under a door. Not just any door.**

**"The pattern is the fifth door along the fifth hall on the fifth floor. Her communication is there."**

**The Seeker had a small phone in her hand; she murmured rapidly into it.**

**"The building was supposed to be safe," I continued. "They knew it was condemned. She doesn't know how she was discovered. Did they find Sharon?"**

**A chill of horror raised goose bumps on my arms.**

**The question was not mine.**

**The question wasn't mine, but it flowed naturally through my lips as if it were. The Seeker did not notice anything amiss.**

**"The cousin? No they found no other humans," she answered, and my body relaxed in response. "This host was spotted entering the building. Since the building was known to be condemned, the citizen who observed her was concerned. He called us, and we watched the building to see if we could catch more than one, and then moved in when that seemed unlikely. Can you find the rendezvous point?"**

**I tried.**

**So many memories, all of them so colorful and sharp. I saw a hundred places I'd never been, heard their names for the first time. A house in Los Angeles, lined with tall fronded trees. A meadow in the forest, a tent and a fire, outside Winslow, Arizona. A deserted rocky beach in Mexico. A cave, the entrance guarded by sheeting rain, somewhere in Oregon. Tents, huts, rude shelters. As time went on, the names grew less specific. She did not know where she was, nor did she care.**

**My name was now Wanderer, yet her memories fit it just as well as my own. Except that my wandering was by choice. These flashes of memory were always tinged with the fear of the hunted. Not wandering, but running.**

**I tried not to feel pity. Instead, I worked to focus the memories. I didn't need to see where she'd been, only where she was going. I sorted through the pictures that tied to the word ****_Chicago, _****but none seemed to be anything more than random images. I widened my net. What was outside Chicago? Cold, I thought. It was cold, and there was some worry about that.**

**Where? I pushed, and the wall came back.**

**I exhaled in a gust. "Outside the city – in the wilderness… a state park, away from any habitations. It's not somewhere she'd been before, but she knew how to get there."**

**"How soon?" the Seeker asked.**

**"Soon." The answer came automatically. "How long have I been here?"**

**"We let the host heal for nine days, just to be absolutely sure she was recovered," the Healer told me. "Insertion was today, the tenth day."**

**Ten days. My body felt a staggering wave of relief.**

**"Too late," I said. "For the rendezvous point… or even the note." I could feel the host's reaction to this – could feel it much too strongly. The host was almost… ****_smug._**** I allowed the words she thought to be spoken, so that I could learn from them. "He won't be there."**

**"He?" The Seeker pounced on the pronoun. "Who?"**

"Jared," everyone in the room except Jared said.

"It could've been Jamie," Jared said.

"I'm pretty sure it's gonna be you," Kyle said.

**The black wall slammed down with more force than she'd used before. She was the tiniest fraction of a second too late.**

**Again, the face filled my mind. The beautiful face with the golden tan skin and the light – flecked eyes. The face that stirred a strange, deep pleasure within me while I viewed it so clearly in my mind.**

"Told ya," Kyle said.

"Shut up, Kyle," Jared said. He never, _ever, _liked to be wrong.

**Though the wall slapped into place with an accompanying sensation of vicious resentment, it was not fast enough.**

**"Jared," I answered. As quickly as if it had come from me, the thought that was not mine followed the name through my lips. "Jared is safe."**

"That's it," Ian said, handing it to Jeb.

"We'll meet here tomorrow after turning the soil on the east field. Same time," Jeb said.

"Fine by us," Wanda said.

"Night, everyone," Doc said.

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what you think! I'll try to post one chapter a week! I'm going this fanfic, I promise. I won't be like those other ones who start and don't finish. I just had to say that cause some of you have been asking if I'll finish this one. REVIEW!

-_Hosters_


	6. PLEASE READ!

Hey guys!  
I'M **ETERNALLY SORRY that I haven't updated these past few weeks! School's been so hard on my time! I'm promising that there will be a new chapter THIS WEEKEND! I've only got the time to write a little bit at a time, but I'm trying my best. I did promise that I would finish this and I will. I will keep my promise, but you guys need to be patient because I have school too, and it sucks. I'm so sorry I haven't updated!**

-_hosters _


	7. Dreamed

**Hey guys! So sorry I haven't been updating! I'll try my best to aim for every weekend.**

-_hosters_

* * *

Everyone gathered back in the hospital. Same time as before.

"Alright," Jeb said. "Which one of y'all wants to read next?"

"I will," Mel said while sheepishly raising her hand.

"Fine by me," Jeb said while handing her the book.

**"****Dreamed," **Mel read.

**It is too dark to be so hot, or maybe too hot to be so dark. One of the two is out of place. I crouch in the darkness behind the weak protection of a shrubby creosote bush, sweating out all the water left in my body.**

Ian started laughing uncontrollably. Everyone looked at him strange, except for Kyle who was looking quite mad at him now.

"Ian, sweetheart? Are you okay?" Wanda asked nervously. Had Ian gone mad?

"It's alright dear," Ian assured her. "I was just remembering something hilarious that Kyle did when we were young."

Kyle glared with such fury at Ian that Wanda started to tremble like Sunny did. Ian held her to his side.

"Don't you dare Ian," he warned in a very threatening voice. Ian laughed.

"What if I did?" Ian taunted. Kyle leaned forward but Jared put a restraining hand on his shoulder. He immediately leaned away, but still kept his rigid posture.

"I swear that I _will _kill you if you mention that," Kyle warned again. Ian smiled.

"Of course not brother but don't get mad if I slip it in a conversation on accident," he said.

"What did he do?" Jared asked curiously.

"Keep reading," Kyle said.

**It's been fifteen minutes since the car left the garage. No lights have come on. The arcadia door is open two inches, letting the swamp cooler do its job. I can imagine the feel of the moist, cool air blowing through the screen. I wish it could reach me here.**

**My stomach gurgles, and I clench my abdominal muscles to stifle the sound. It is quiet enough that the murmur carries.**

**I am so hungry.**

**There is another need that is stronger – another hungry stomach hidden safely far away in the darkness, waiting alone in the rough cave that is our temporary home.**

Melanie then started to hum a strange tune. Everyone looked at her.

"What?" she questioned. "It's a song called _Temporary Home. _Ya know… by Carrie Underwood… Country music?" She asked desperately. Everyone was still clueless.

"We never listened to that country crap," Kyle said. Ian nodded.

"It's not crap!" Mel exclaimed. "It's awesomeness and it's a shame that you guys never listened to it." She was brushing her right index finger on her left one. The shame symbol.

**A cramped place, jagged with volcanic rock. What will he do if I don't come back? All the pressure of motherhood with none of the knowledge or experience. I feel so hideously helpless. Jamie is hungry.**

**There are no other houses close to this one. I've been watching since the sun was still white hot in the sky, and I don't think there is a dog, either.**

**I ease up from my crouch, my calves screaming in protest, but keep hunched at the waist, trying to be smaller than the bush. The way up the wash is smooth sand, a pale pathway in the light of the stars. There are no sounds of cars on the road.**

**I know what they will realize when they return, the monsters who look like a nice couple in their early fifties. They will know exactly what I am, and the search will begin at once. I need to be far away. I really hope they are going out for a night on the town. I think it's Friday. They keep our habits so perfectly, it's hard to see any difference. Which is how they won in the first place.**

**The fence around the yard is only waist high. I get over easily, noiselessly. The yard is gravel, though, and I have to walk carefully to keep my weight from shifting it. I make it to the patio slab.**

**The blinds are open. The starlight is enough to see the rooms are empty of movement. This couple goes for a Spartan look, and I'm grateful. It makes it harder for someone to hide. Of course, that leaves no place for me to hide, either, but if it comes to hiding for me, it's too late anyway.**

**I ease the screen door open first, and then the glass door. Both glide silently. I place my feet carefully on the tile, but this is just out of habit. No one is waiting for me here.**

**The cool air feels like heaven.**

Everyone chuckles. They all know how it feels to be from being in a hot cave to the refreshing AC.

**The kitchen is to my left. I can see the gleam of granite counters.**

**I pull the canvas bag from my shoulder and start with the refrigerator. There is a moment of anxiety as the light comes on when the door opens, but I find the button and hold it down with my toe. My eyes are blind. I don't have time to let them adjust. I go by feel.**

**Milk, cheese slices, leftovers in a plastic bowl. I hope it's the chicken – and – rice thing I watched him cooking for dinner. We'll eat this tonight.**

**Juice, a bag of apples. Baby carrots. These will stay good till morning.**

**I hurry to the pantry. I need things that will keep longer.**

**I can see better as I gather as much as I can carry. Mmm, chocolate chip cookies. I'm dying to open the bag right now, but I grit my teeth and ignore the twist of my empty stomach.**

**The bag gets heavy too quickly. This will last us only a week, even if we're careful with it. And I don't feel like gorging. I shove granola bars into my pockets.**

**One more thing. I hurry to the sink and refill my canteen. Then I put my head under the flow and gulp straight from the stream. The water makes odd noises when it hits my hollow stomach.**

**I start to feel panicked now that my job is done. I want to be out of here. Civilization is deadly.**

**I watch the floor on my way out, worried about tripping with my heavy bag, which is why I don't see the silhouetted black figure on the patio until my hand is on the door.**

"Why do I have a feeling that this is Jared?" Kyle asked.

"Probably cause it is, stupid," Ian answered his brother.

"You got the brains; I got the looks. I thought we went over that. And don't you dare say a word about it Wanda," Kyle said while looking at Wanda while saying the last part. Wanda laughed.

"I was only speaking the truth," she defended herself.

"After all, I _do _have both. Who couldn't resist this?" he said while gesturing to his body. Everyone was downright laughing while Kyle looked like he was about to tackle Ian right there on the spot.

**I hear his mumbled oath at the same time that a stupid squeak of fear escapes my mouth. I spin to sprint for the front door, hoping the locks are not latched, or at least not difficult.**

**I don't even get two steps before rough, hard hands grab my shoulders and wrench me back against his body. Too big, too strong to be a woman. The bass voice proves me right.**

**"****One sound and you die," he threatens gruffly. I am shocked to feel a thin, sharp edge pushing into the skin under my jaw.**

"I'm so sorry, Mel," Jared apologized. Mel shook her head.

"You don't need to apologize. It's fine," Mel said reassuringly.

"I could've killed you," Jared said regretfully.

"But you didn't," Mel said. "It's all in the past."

**I don't understand. I shouldn't be given a choice. Who is this monster? I've never heard of one who would break rules. I answer the only way I can.**

**"****Do it," I spit through my teeth. "Just do it. I don't want to be a filthy parasite!"**

**I wait for the knife, and my heart is aching. Each beat has a name. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. What will happen to you now?"**

**"****Clever," the man mutters, and it doesn't sound like he's speaking to me. "Must be a Seeker. And that means a trap. How did they know?" The steel disappears from my throat, only to be replaced by a hand as hard as iron.**

**I can barely breathe under his grip.**

**"****Where are the rest of them?" he demands, squeezing.**

**"****It's just me!" I rasp. I can't lead him to Jamie. What will Jamie do when I don't come back? Jamie is hungry!**

**I throw my elbow into his gut – and this really hurts. His stomach muscles are as iron hard as the hand. Which is very strange. Muscles like that are the product of hard living or obsession, and the parasites have neither.**

"You're very observant," Doc noted. Mel nodded.

"Have to be, especially when out with the parasites," Mel said.

"Yeah, that is true. We're not as observant as you of course," Wanda said sighing.

"Wanda… I didn't mean that – " Mel started to say but was interrupted by Wanda hand in the air.

"Save it Mel. It's okay. I _am _a parasite. It's no big deal," Wanda said.

"You are anything but a parasite, Wanda. You're a _person_. Not a parasite. You're a beautiful soul, and whoever doesn't see that is blind," Ian murmured to Wanda. She kissed his cheek.

**He doesn't even suck in a breath at my blow. Desperate, I jab my heel into his instep. This catches him off guard, and he wobbles. I wrench away, but he grabs hold of my bag, yanking me back into his body. His hand clamps down on my throat again.**

**"****Feisty for a peace – loving body snatcher, aren't you?"**

**His words are nonsensical. I thought the aliens were all the same. I guess they have their nut jobs, too, after all.**

"Hey! I'm not a nut job!" Jared stated.

"You sounded like one," Mel defended.

**I twist and claw, trying to break his hold. My nails catch his arm, but this just makes him tighten his hold on my throat.**

**"****I ****_will _****kill you, you worthless body thief. I'm not bluffing."**

**"****Do it, then!"**

**Suddenly he gasps, and I wonder if any of my flailing limbs have made contact. I don't feel any new bruises.**

**He lets go of my arm and grabs my hair. This must be it. He's going to cut my throat. I brace for the slice of the knife.**

**But the hand on my throat eases up, and his fingers are fumbling on the back of my neck, rough and warm on my skin.**

**"****Impossible," he breathes.**

**Something hits the floor with a thud. He's dropped the knife? I try to think of a way to get it. Maybe if I fall. The hand on my neck isn't tight enough to keep me from yanking free. I think I heard where the blade landed.**

**He spins me around suddenly. There is a click, and light blinds my left eye. I gasp and automatically try to twist away from it. His hand tightens in my hair. The light flickers to my right eye.**

**"****I can't believe it," he whispers. "You're still human."**

**His hands grab my face from both sides, and before I can pull free, his lips come down hard on mine.**

"Oh my god, Jared. You seriously kissed Mel right after trying to kill her?" Ian asked astounded. "I mean, really, were you _that _desperate?"

"I was lonely, okay? Mel was the first other human I met," Jared replied.

"You could've waited to get permission to kiss her first, young man," Jeb said sternly. He had his gun near him. He was stroking the barrel creepily.

"Uncle Jeb!" Melanie complained. "Don't shoot Jared. He has a pretty good point." Jared noticed the meaning of Jeb's words and slowly slid behind Mel. She held his hand.

"I know, I know. Just saying." He said while holding his hands up in a surrender.

**I'm frozen for half a second. No one has ever kissed me in my life. Not a real kiss. Just my parents' peck on the cheek or forehead, so many years ago. This is something I thought I would never feel. I'm not sure exactly what it feels like, though. There's too much panic, too much terror, too much adrenaline.**

**I jerk my knee up in a sharp thrust.**

"Damn, girl!" Kyle shouted. "You really are badass."

"You bet I am!" Mel said.

"It hurt like hell too, thank you very much," Jared said while feigning irritation.

"It was supposed to," Mel said playing along.

**He chokes out a wheezing sound, and I'm free. Instead of running for the front of the house again like he expects, I duck under his arm and leap through the open door. I think I can outrun him, even with my load. I've got a head start, and he's still making pained noises. I know where I'm going – I won't leave a path he can see in the dark. I never dropped the food, and that's good. I think the granola bars are a loss, though.**

**"****Wait!" He yells.**

**_Shut up, _****I think, but I don't yell back.**

**He's running after me. I can hear his voice getting closer. "I'm not one of them!"**

**_Sure. _****I keep my eyes on the sand and sprint. My dad used to say I ran like a cheetah. I was the fastest on my track team, state champion, back before the end of the world.**

**"****Listen to me!" He's still yelling at full volume. "Look! I'll prove it. Just stop and look at me!"**

**_Not likely. _****I pivot off the wash and flit through the mesquites.**

**"****I don't think there was anyone left! Please, I need to talk to you!" **

**His voice surprises me – it is too close.**

**"****I'm sorry I kissed you! That was stupid! I've just been alone so long!"  
**"Yeah, that _was _really stupid. I wouldn't even do that," Kyle stated. Jared gave Kyle the 'I'm gonna kill you face' and Kyle held his hands up in a surrender like Jeb did. "Just saying."

**"****Shut ****_up!" _****I don't say it loudly, but I know he hears. He's getting even closer. I've never been outrun before. I push my legs harder.**

**There's a low grunt to his breathing as he speeds up, too.**

**Something big flies into my back, and I go down. I taste dirt in my mouth, and I'm pinned by something so heavy I can hardly breathe.**

"Dude, I think she just called you fat," Ian said.

Everyone laughed, including Jared.

"Not fat, just overly muscled" Jared corrected while showing his muscles. "Boom, boom, fire power!"

Everyone was laughing on the ground, close to tears. Melanie was laughing the hardest of them all.

"Which is why I love you," Melanie stated. She kissed Jared on the cheek.

"At least you're not as bad as Ian and Wanda," Jeb muttered. Everyone heard, though, and chuckled. Wanda turned a light shade of pink while Ian rolled his eyes and hugged Wanda closer to his chest.

**"****Wait. A. Minute," he huffs.**

**He shifts his weight and rolls me over. He straddles my chest, trapping my arms under his legs. He is squishing my food. I growl and try to squirm out from under him.**

**"****Look, look, look!" he says. He pulls a small cylinder from his hip pocket and twist the top. A beam of light shoots out the end.**

**He turns the flashlight on his face.**

**The light makes his skin yellow. It shows prominent cheekbones beside a long thin nose and a sharply squared – off jaw. His lips are stretched into a grin, but I can see that they are full, for a man. His eyebrows and lashes are bleached out from sun.**

**But that's not what he is showing me.**

**His eyes, clear liquid sienna in illumination, shine with no more than human reflection. He bounces the light between left and right.**

**"****See? See? I'm just like you."**

**"****Let me see your neck." Suspicion is thick in my voice. I don't let myself believe that this is more than a trick. I don't understand the point of the charade, but I'm sure there is one. There is no hope anymore.**

**His lips twist. "Well… That won't exactly help anything. Aren't the eyes enough? You know I'm not one of them."**

**"****Why won't you show me your neck?"**

**"****Because I have a scar there," he admits.**

**I try to squirm out from under him again, and his hand pins my shoulder.**

**"****It's self – inflicted," he explains. "I think I did a pretty good job, though it hurt like hell. ****_I _****don't have all that pretty hair to cover ****_my _****neck. The scar helps me blend in."**

"Barely," Wanda mumbled. "If you actually were in a place full of souls, there's no way you would pass for one of them. The scar wasn't healed right. It would have drawn attention."

Of course, everyone now had a perfect scar. One that was healed with the soul medication. One done by a professional – Doc – and not by an unexperienced buffoon. That way, when they were out in the open, nobody would question the scars. It would look just like theirs.

**"****Get off me."**

**He hesitates, then gets to his feet in one easy move, not needing to use his hands. He holds one out, palm up, to me.**

**"****Please don't run away. And, um, I'd rather you didn't kick me again, either."**

"Great," Jared groaned. "Now I sound like a wimp."

**I didn't move. I know he can catch me if I try to run.**

**"****Who are you?" I whisper.**

**He smiles wide. "My name is Jared Howe. I haven't spoken to another human being in more than two years, so I'm sure I must seem… a little crazy to you. Please, forgive that and tell me your name, anyway."**

"A _little_ crazy?" Kyle asked incredulously. "You tried to kill her, kissed her, and pinned her to the ground. Yeah, a little crazy is a perfect description." Jared rolled his eyes.

"He's got you there, Jared," Mel teased.

**"****Melanie," I whisper.**

**"****Melanie," he repeats. "I can't tell you how delighted I am to meet you."**

**I grip my bag tightly, keeping my eyes on him. He reaches his hand down toward me slowly.**

**And I take it.**

**It isn't until I see my hand curl voluntarily around his that I realize I believe him.**

**He helps me to my feet and doesn't release my hand when I'm up.**

**"****What now?" I ask guardedly.**

**"****Well, we can't stay here for long. Will you come back with me to the house? I left my bag. You beat me to the fridge."**

**I shake my head.**

**He seems to realize how brittle I am, how close to breaking.**

**"****Will you wait for me here, then?" he asks in a gentle voice. "I'll be very quick. Let me get us some more food."**

**"****Us?"**

**"****Do you really think I'm going to let you disappear? I'll follow you even if you tell me not to."**

"Talk about stalker," Kyle joke. Everyone chuckled.

**I don't want to disappear from him.**

**"****I…" How can I not trust another human completely? We're family – both part of the brotherhood of extinction. "I don't have time. I have so far to go and… Jamie is waiting."**

**"****You're not alone," he realizes. His expression shows uncertainty for the first time.**

**"****My brother. He's just nine, and he's so frightened when I'm away. It will take me half the night to get back to him. He won't know if I've been caught. He's so ****_hungry._****" As if to make a point, my stomach growls loudly.**

**Jared's smile is back, brighter than before. "Will it help if I give you a ride?"**

**"****A ride?" I echo.**

**"****I'll make you a deal. You wait here while I gather more food, and I'll take you anywhere you want to go in my jeep. It's faster than running – even faster than ****_you _****running."**

**"****You have a car?"**

**"****Of course. Do you think I walked out here?"**

**I think of the six hours it took me to walk here, and my forehead furrows.**

**"****We'll be back to your brother in no time," he promises. "Don't move from this spot, okay?"**

**I nod.**

**"****And eat something, please. I don't want your stomach to give us away." He grins, and his eyes crinkle up, fanning around the corners. My heart gives one hard thump, and I know I will wait here if it takes him all night.**

**He is still holding my hand. He lets go slowly, his eyes not leaving mine. He takes a step backward, then pauses.**

**"****Please don't kick me," he pleads, leaning forward and grabbing my chin. He kisses me again, and this time I feel it. His lips are softer than his hands, and hot, even in the warm desert night. A flock of butterflies riots in my stomach and steals my breath. **

"I really have that effect on you?" Jared asked Mel playfully. "I'd expect it to be much worse than that."

"That was the first time," Mel replied.

"So," Jared started. "If I do this," he leaned towards Mel. "You'll have butterflies in your stomach?"

"You bet," Mel whispered and closed the space. They kissed in front of everyone until Jeb, Kyle, and Ian cleared their throats at the same time. They pulled apart.

**My hands reach for him instinctively. I touch the warm skin of his cheek, the rough hair on his neck. My fingers skim over a line of puckered skin, a raised ridge right beneath the hairline.**

**I scream.**

"You screamed?" Jeb asked.

"He had the scar! I got scared!" Mel said.

"Wait… _you _got scared. Fearless Melanie got scared?" Jeb asked, grinning.

"Fine! I _did _get scared!" She groaned.

"Continue," Jeb said.

**I woke up covered in sweat. Even before I was all the way awake, my fingers were on the back of my neck, tracing the short line left from the insertion. I could barely detect the faint pink blemish with my fingertips. The medicines the Healer had used had done their job.**

**Jared's poorly healed scar had never been much of a disguise.**

**I flicked on the light beside my bed, waiting for my breathing to slow, veins full of adrenaline from the realistic dream.**

**A new dream, but in essence so much the same as the many others that had plagued me in the past months.**

**No, not a dream. Surely a memory.**

**I could still feel the heat of Jared's lips on mine. My hands reached out without my permission, searching across the rumpled sheet, looking for something they did not find. My heart ached when they gave up, falling to the bed limp and empty.**

**I blinked away the unwelcome moisture in my eyes. I didn't know how much more of this I could stand. How did anyone survive this world, with these bodies whose memories wouldn't stay in the past where they should? With these emotions that were so strong I couldn't tell what ****_I _****felt anymore?**

**I was going to be exhausted tomorrow, but I felt so far from sleep that I knew it would be hours before I could relax. I might as well do my duty and get it over with. Maybe it would help me take my mind off things I'd rather not think about.**

**I rolled off the bed and stumbled to the computer on the otherwise empty desk. It took a few seconds for the screen to glow to life, and another few seconds to open my mail program. It wasn't hard to find the Seeker's address; I only had four contacts: the Seeker, the Healer, my new employer, and his wife, my Comforter.**

**'****There was another human with my host, Melanie Stryder.' I typed, not bothering with a greeting.**

**'****His name is Jamie Stryder; he is her brother.'**

Wanda looked down, ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Mel," she whispered as a few tears leaked. "I'm such a horrible person."

Ian pulled her close and her tears stained his shirt. He whispered reassuring words in her ear.

"Wanda, you're the reason I'm here. The reason that half the people here are alive. Especially Jamie. Without you, that cut would've killed him." Melanie said.

"You are _not _a horrible person. You're the kindest, most selfless person in existence, willing to do anything for the people you care about. Works too much even though you need a break. If anything _we're _the horrible people." Ian said and everyone's head, except Wanda's, nodded in agreement.

Wanda kissed Ian right there on the spot. All the kind words, everything he did, was always too much. Much more than she deserved. More than she thoughtshe deserved. She pulled away after a few seconds.

"Thank you," she whispered.

**For a panicked moment, I wondered at her control. All this time, and I'd never even guessed at the boy's existence – not because he didn't matter to her, but because she protected him more fiercely than other secrets I'd unraveled. Did she have more secrets this big, this important? So sacred that she kept them even from my dreams? Was she that strong? My fingers trembled as I keyed the rest of the information.**

**'****I think he's a young adolescent now. Perhaps thirteen. They were living in a temporary camp, and I believe it was north of the town of Cave Creek, in Arizona. That was several years ago, though. Still, you could compare a map to the lines I remembered before. As always, I'll tell you if I get anything more.'**

**I sent it off. As soon as it was gone, terror washed through me.**

**_Not Jamie!_**

**Her voice in my head was as clear as my own spoken aloud. I shuddered in horror.**

**Even as I struggled with the fear of what was happening, I was gripped with the insane desire to email the Seeker again and apologize for sending her my crazy dreams. To tell her I was half asleep and to pay no attention to the silly message I'd sent.**

**The desire was not my own.**

**I shut off the computer.**

**_I hate you, _****the voice snarled in my head.**

**"****Then maybe you should leave," I snapped. The sound of my voice, answering her aloud, made me shudder again.**

**She hadn't spoken to me since the first moments I'd been here. There was no doubt that she was getting stronger. Just like the dreams.**

**And there was no question about it; I was going to have to visit my Comforter tomorrow. Tears of disappointment and humiliation welled in my eyes at the thought.**

**I went back to bed, put a pillow over my face, and tried to think of nothing at all.**

"I'm so sorry," Wanda whispered to Mel.

"Stop it Wanda. There's no need to apologize. _I _should be apologizing for all the things I did to you." Mel said.

"No, no you. _I'm _the parasite, not you. No matter how many times you tell me I'm human, I'm still a parasite, still one of them." Wanda sighed. Melanie was about to answer, but Ian cut her off and answered for her.

"Wanda, you're not a parasite. You _are _a person. Those souls out there, _they're _the parasites. You're the kindest _person _we've ever met." Ian murmured.

"Which one of ya is reading next?" Jeb asked.

"I'll read," Wanda said shyly. Mel handed the book to her.


	8. Uncomforted

Sorry it took so long for me to update. Just remember, I'm keeping my promise. I _will _finish this fanfic.

-_hosters_

* * *

**"****Uncomforted," **Wanda read.

"I can already see where this chapter is leading to," Mel grumbled.

"I didn't like her either, Mel," Wanda assured her.

All the others stared curiously at the two. What made them hate someone that much?

**"****Hello there, Wanderer! Won't you take a seat and make yourself at home?"**

**I hesitated on the threshold of the Comforter's office,**

"Oh," Everyone else said when she read this. _Now they understand, _Wanda thought.

"That's why you didn't like her?" Kyle asked. Stupid, idiotic Kyle _had _to ask that question. _Did _you _ever like visiting a shrink? _Wanda asked internally.

"Did you ever like visiting a shrink?" Wanda asked again. "Ian has told me _a lot _about you, Kyle, and I pretty sureyou had to visit one at some point."

Kyle looked stunned. _When did Wanda become like my brother?_ Kyle asked himself. "No," he mumbled.

**one foot in and one foot out. She smiled, just a tiny movement at the corners of her mouth. It was much easier to read facial expressions now; the little muscle twitches and shifts had become familiar through months of exposure. I could see that the Comforter found my reluctance a bit amusing. At the same time, I could sense her frustration that I was still uneasy coming to her.**

"Why?" Doc asked.

"I just felt uncomfortable. I never liked her. It was like she was always invading my privacy, which she was, along with that blasted Seeker," Wanda answered.

"It's a good thing you don't have to go back out for another six months," Ian said happily while pulling Wanda closer.

"Yeah…" Wanda said nervously. What she didn't tell Ian was that Mel, Lily, Sunny and her were going out for a bit for a girl's day out in a few days. Wanda looked desperately at Mel and Melanie shot her a glare. They knew that if she told Ian, he would flip out and never let her go. Over protective idiot.

**With a quiet sigh of resignation, I walked into the small brightly colored room and took my usual seat – the puffy red one, the one farthest from where she sat.**

**Her lips pursed.**

**To avoid her gaze, I stared through the open windows at the clouds scuttling past the sun. The faint tang of ocean brine blew softly through the room.**

**"****So, Wanderer. It's been a while since you've come to see me."**

**I met her eyes guiltily. "I did leave a message about that last appointment. I had a student who requested some of my time…." **

**"****Yes, I know." She smiled the tiny smile again. "I got your message."**

**She was attractive for an older woman, as humans went. She'd let her hair stay a natural gray – it was soft, tending toward white rather than silver, and she wore it long, pulled back in a loose ponytail. Her eyes were an interesting green color I'd never seen on anywhere else.**

**"****I'm sorry," I said, since she seemed to be waiting for a response.**

**"****That's all right. I understand. It's difficult for you to come here. You wish so much that it wasn't necessary. It's never been necessary for you before. This frightens you."**

**I stared down at the wooden floor. "Yes, Comforter."**

**"****I know I've asked you before to call me Kathy."**

**"****Yes… Kathy."**

**She laughed lightly. "You are not at ease with human names yet, are you, Wanderer?"**

**"****No. To be honest, it seems… like a surrender."**

"Why, Wanda?" Jeb asked.

"Well," she started. "This is only my opinion, mainly based on my experience with Mel, but I used to think of it as a sign of weakness. Since Mel was still there, she fought against me. It felt like if I did, I was giving up."

"Wanda, you are not weak, as we've told you so many times before. Stop thinking you are." Mel said.

"I'll try," Wanda answered truthfully.

**I looked up to see her nod slowly. "Well, I can understand why you, especially, would feel that way."**

**I swallowed loudly when she said that, and stared again at the floor.**

**"****Let's talk about something easier for a moment," Kathy suggested. "Do you continue to enjoy you calling?"**

**"****I do." This ****_was _****easier. "I've begun a new semester. I wondered if it would get tiresome, repeating the same material, but so far it doesn't. Having new ears makes the stories new again."**

**"****I hear good things about you from Curt. He says your class is among the most requested at the university."**

"Is it now?" Ian asked. Wanda blushed.

"Most of them requested to learn about some of the other planets they wanted to visit probably," Wanda said unconvincingly. Ian smirked.

"No," he disagreed. "It's because your stories are amazing."

Wanda shrugged. "There's nothing special about them."

"But there is. It's that you were able to experience them yourself."

"Maybe," Wanda considered.

**My cheeks warmed a bit at this praise. "That's nice to hear. How is your partner?"**

**"****Curt is wonderful, thank you.**

"Wait," Kyle interrupted. "His name is Curt?"

Ian sighed, knowing what he was going to say. "Let it go, Kyle."

"I refuse to let it go, Ian," Kyle said stubbornly. "I love Tears for Fears forever and always."

"What is that?" Wanda asked. Kyle shook his head.

"It's this awesome band that was around before the souls came. One of the members was named Curt. Do you, by any chance, know his last name?" Kyle asked.

"His name was Curt Smith. Why?" She replied. Kyle was gaping.

"Oh. My. God. You met Curt Smith?" Kyle asked, disbelieving.

"Ummm… yeah, I guess?" Wanda responded.

"Do you have something of his? Maybe a signature…" he trailed off.

"Kyle!" Ian reprimanded him. Kyle held his hands up in a surrender.

"Sorry dude, just checking." Kyle said.

**Our hosts are in excellent shape for their ages. We have many years ahead of us, I think."**

**I was curious if she would stay on this world, if she would move to another human host when the time came, or if she would leave. But I didn't want to ask any questions that might move us into the more difficult areas of discussion.**

**"****I enjoy teaching," I said instead. "It's somewhat related to my Calling with the See Weeds, so that makes it easier than something unfamiliar. I'm indebted to Curt for requesting me."**

**"****They're lucky to have you." Kathy smiled warmly. "Do you know how rare it is for a Professor of History to have experienced even two planets in the curriculum? Yet you've lived a term on almost all of them. And the Origin, to boot! There isn't a school on this planet that wouldn't love to steal you away from us. Curt plots ways to keep you busy so you have no time to consider moving."**

Everyone chuckled. "Such a human thing to do," Doc said.

"We may be souls, but we still have that human sense in us no matter where we go." Wanda said.

**"****_Honorary _****Professor," I corrected her.**

"Even better to have an _Honorary _Professor among us," Jeb said, making sure to emphasize _honorary. _

"Sharon still knows more of the basics," Wanda replied.

"But really, why do you need math and language arts when we're living in caves, right?" Jeb asked.

"Point taken," Wanda said after a second of consideration.

**Kathy smiled and then took a deep breath, her smile fading. "You haven't been to see me in so long, I was wondering if your problems were resolving themselves. But then it occurred to me that perhaps the reason for your absence was that they were getting worse."**

**I stared down at my hands and said nothing.**

**My hands were light brown – a tan that never faded whether I spent time in the sun or not. One dark freckle marked the skin just above my left wrist. My nails were cut short. I disliked the feeling of long nails. They were unpleasant when they brushed the skin wrong. And my fingers were so long and thin – the added length of fingernails made them look strange. Even for a human.**

**She cleared her throat after a minute. "I'm guessing my intuition was right."**

**"****Kathy." I said her name slowly. Stalling. "Why did you keep your human name? Did it make you feel… more at one? With your host, I mean?" I would like to know about Curt's choice as well, but it was such a personal question. It would have been wrong to ask anyone besides Curt for the answer, even his partner. I worried that I'd already been too impolite, but she laughed.**

**"****Heaven's, no, Wanderer. Haven't I told you this? Hmm. Maybe not, since it's not my job to talk, but listen. Most of the souls I speak with don't need as much encouragement as you do. Did you know I came to Earth in one of the very first placements, before the humans had any idea we were here?**

"Everyone but the Stryders," Mel muttered. Jeb heard her and laughed.

"It's always good to be suspicious, Mel. It's not a crime." Jeb said.

"I know, but having a secret bunker in the backyard is just too much." Mel replied.

"You had a bunker in your backyard?" Jared asked. Mel rolled her eyes and Jeb's eyes twinkled. He always enjoyed telling people about his little nooks and crannies all over the place.

"Yup. Magnolia even had a few places in the house." Jeb said.

"Yeah, that were filled with booby traps!" Mel exclaimed.

"That was you and Sharon's fault that you weren't careful," Jeb defended himself.

"True," Mel admitted.

**I had human neighbors on both sides. Curt and I had to pretend to be our hosts for several years. Even after we'd settled the immediate area, you never knew when a human might be near. So ****_Kathy _****just became who I was. Besides, the translation of my former name was fourteen words long and did not shorten prettily." She grinned. The sunlight slanting through the window caught her eyes and sent their silver green reflection dancing on the wall. For a moment, the emerald irises glowed iridescent.**

**I'd had no idea that this soft, cozy woman had been part of the front line. It took me a minute to process that. I stared at her, surprised and suddenly more respectful. I'd never taken Comforters very seriously – never had a need before now. They were for those who struggled, for the weak, and it shamed me to be here. Knowing Kathy's history made me feel slightly less awkward with her. She understood strength.**

**"****Did it bother you?" I asked. "Pretending to be one of them?"**

**"****No, not really. You see, this host was a lot to get used to – there was so much that was new. Sensory overload. Following the set pattern was quite as much as I could handle at first."**

**"****And Curt… you chose to stay with your host's spouse? After it was over?"**

**This question was more pointed, and Kathy grasped that at once. She shifted in her seat, pulling her legs up and folding them under her. She gazed thoughtfully at a spot just over my head as she answered.**

**"****Yes, I chose Curt – and he chose me. At first, of course, it was a random chance, an assignment. We bonded, naturally, from spending so much time together, sharing the danger of our mission. As the university's president, Curt had many contacts, you see. Our house was an insertion facility. We would entertain often. Humans would come through our door and our kind would leave. It all had to be very quick and quiet – you know the violence these hosts are prone to. We lived every day with the knowledge that we could meet a final end at any moment. There was constant excitement and frequent fear.**

"Just like raiding," Jared realized.

"Although I would say more fear than excitement," Mel added.

"Actually, I would say no excitement at all." Kyle said. "Wanda does all the work for us. We just load all the stuff."

"What's better: your final end or boredom?" Wanda asked Kyle. She was getting a little agitated with Kyle. They were living in a cave, having to risk their lives for supplies, and he's complaining about _boredom? _

"Boredom," Kyle grumbled.

**"****All very good reasons why Curt and I might have formed an attachment and decided to stay together when the secrecy was no longer necessary. And I could lie to you, assuage your fears, by telling you that these were the reasons. But…" she shook her head and then seemed to settle deeper into her chair, her eyes boring into me. "In so many millennia, the humans never did figure ****_love _****out.**

"What does she mean by that?" Ian asked.

"She probably thought that because people were killing other people for no apparent reason at all. There were people on the street, hungry and homeless. There were divorces and catastrophes from divorces. All of those factor in with love." Wanda explained. All of them nodded their heads slowly, understanding.

"And because we didn't love each other as we're supposed to…" Jared started. "The souls thought they should step in and help out?"

Wanda nodded.

**How much is physical, how much in the mind? How much accident and how much fate? Why did perfect matches crumble and impossible couples thrive? I don't know the answers any better than they did. Love simply is where it is. My host loved Curt's host, and that love did not die when the ownership of the minds changed."**

**She watched me carefully, reacting with a slight frown when I slumped in my seat.**

**"****Melanie still grieves for Jared," she stated.**

**I felt my head nod without willing the action.**

**_"_****_You _****grieve for him."**

"You did?" Jared asked.

"Melanie has very intense feelings for you, Jared. Never forget it." Wanda replied.

**I closed my eyes.**

**"****The dreams continue?"**

"Dreams?" Ian asked.

"Memories, actually. Thanks for that, Mel." Wanda grumbled.

"Sorry," Mel apologized, but Wanda waved her hand in the air, dismissing the subject.

**"****Every night," I mumbled.**

**"****Tell me about them." Her voice was soft, persuasive.**

**"****I don't like to think about them."**

**"****I know. Try. It might help."**

**"****How? How will it help me to tell you that I see his face every time I close my eyes? That I wake up and cry when he's not there? That the memories are so strong I can't separate hers from mine anymore?"**

**I stopped abruptly, clenching my teeth.**

**Kathy pulled a white handkerchief from her pocket and offered it to me. I didn't move, she got up, walked over to me, and dropped it in my lap. She sat on the arm of my chair and waited.**

**I held on stubbornly for half a minute. Then I snatched the little square of fabric angrily and wiped my eyes.**

**"****I hate this."**

**"****Everybody cries their first year. These emotions are so impossible. We're all children for a bit, whether we intended that or not. I used to tear up every time I saw a pretty sunset. The taste of peanut butter would sometimes do that, too." She patted the top of my head, then trailed her fingers gently through the lock of hair I always kept tucked behind my ear.**

**"****Such pretty, shiny hair," she noted. "Every time I see you it's shorter. Why do you keep it that way?"**

**Already in tears, I didn't feel like I had much dignity to defend. Why claim that it was easier to care for, as I usually did? After all, I'd come here to confess and get help – I might as well get on with it.**

**"****It bothers ****_her. _****She likes it long."**

"I'm still surprised you had long hair, Mel." Kyle said.

"I'm trying to grow it out again," Mel replied.

"Sorry," Wanda muttered.

"It's fine, Wanda." Mel said.

**She didn't gasp, as I half expected she would. Kathy was good at her job. Her response was only a second late and only slightly incoherent.**

**"****You… she… she's still that… ****_present?" _**

**The appalling truth tumbled from my lips.**

**"****When she want to be. Our history bores her. She's more dormant while I'm working. But she's there, all right. Sometimes I feel like she's as present as I am." My voice was only a whisper by the time I was done.**

**"****Wanderer!" Kathy exclaimed, horrified. "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad? How long has it been this way?"**

**"****It's getting worse. Instead of fading, she seems to be growing stronger. It's not as bad as the Healer's case yet – we spoke of Kevin, do you remember? She hasn't taken control. She won't. I won't let that happen!" The pitch of my voice climbed.**

**"****Of course it won't happen," she assured me. "Of course not. But if you're this… unhappy, you should have told me earlier. We need to get you to a Healer."**

**It took me a moment, emotionally distracted as I was, to understand.**

**"****A Healer? You want me to ****_skip?" _**

**"****No one would think badly of that choice, Wanderer. It's understood, if a host is defective – "**

**"****_Defective? _****She's not defective. ****_I _****am. I'm too week for this world!"**

"Listen to me, Wanda. You are not weak. You're the strongest, bravest person I know." Ian murmured to Wanda.

"Strong, really?" Wanda asked while raising one eyebrow. Ian thought it was absolutely adorable. "If you haven't noticed, I can barely do anything around here."

"You have a strong soul. A beautiful one." Ian said while tracing the faint scar on her neck. Wanda seemed to relax at the touch.

"Couldn't you have gotten me a stronger body?" Wanda asked Jared and Mel.

"Of course not, Wanda. You work too hard. We had to give you a break somehow." Mel stated.

"Jamie also loved this host. He said it was perfect, although, I'm starting to disagree. I mean, we can do all sorts of jobs but Wanda can only do a few. In my opinion, that would totally suck." Jared said.

"Thank you!" Wanda exclaimed. "Finally, someone understands!"

"But that would mean she would be working more, Jar." Mel said.

"True, but there are other ways to get her to take a break without getting her a weak host." Jared informed while grinning evilly.

"But with a weak host, Ian can just hold Wanda down. No need for them to get naughty to get her to take a break." Mel said nonchalantly. Wanda was just about as red as a tomato while Ian ran his hand through his hair, embarrassed.

"Mel," Wanda groaned. She was trying to hide her face with a mass of blonde curls.

"What?" Mel asked. "We all know it's true." Everyone laughed.

"I thought you were a gentleman, Ian." Kyle said. "Guess I was wrong."

"I wouldn't do anything against her will. I'll respect what she wants." Ian simply stated.

They all bickered for a bit until Jeb decided to interfere.

"And the conversation ends here, folks. If y'all didn't know, you've been talking about this for ten minutes. Now shut your traps and let Wanda read." Jeb said sternly. Wanda mouthed _Thank you _to him.

**My head fell into my hands as the humiliation washed through me. Fresh tears welled in my eyes.**

**Kathy's arm settled around my shoulders. I was struggling so hard to control my wild emotions that I didn't pull away, though it felt too intimate.**

**It bothered Melanie, too. She didn't like being hugged by an alien.**

**Of course Melanie was very much present in this moment, and unbearably smug as I finally admitted to her power. She was gleeful. It was always harder to control her when I was distracted by emotion like this.**

**I tried to calm myself so that I would be able to put her in her place.**

**_You are in my place. _****Her thought was faint but intelligible. How much worse it was getting; she was strong enough to speak to me now whenever she wished. It was as bad as that first minute of consciousness.**

**_Go away. It's my place now._**

**_Never._**

**"****Wanderer, dear, no. You are not weak, and we both know that."**

"See," Ian said. "Even Kathy agrees with me."

**"****Hmph."**

**"****Listen to me. You are strong. Surprisingly strong. Our kind are always much the same, but ****_you _****exceed the norm. You're so brave it astonishes me. Your past lives are a testament to that."**

**My past lives maybe, but this life? Where was my strength now?**

**"****But human are more individualized than we are," Kathy went on. "There's quite a range, and some of them are much stronger than others. I truly believe that if anyone else had been put in this host, Melanie would have crushed them in days. Maybe it's an accident, maybe it's fate, but it appears to me that the strongest of our kind is being hosted by the strongest of theirs."**

"Very true," Doc said.

"Wanda, you're very strong. I mean, you could handle Mel." Jared teased. Mel smacked him on the back of the head.

**"****Doesn't say much for our kind, does it?"**

**She heard the implication behind my words. "She's not winning, Wanderer. ****_You _****are this lovely person beside me. She's just a shadow in the corner of your mind."**

**"****She speaks to me, Kathy. She still thinks her own thoughts. She still keeps her secrets."**

**"****But she doesn't speak for you, does she? I doubt I would be able to say as much in your place."**

**I didn't respond. I was feeling too miserable.**

**"****I think you should consider reimplantation."**

**"****Kathy, you just said that she would crush a different soul. I don't know if I believe that – you're probably just trying to do your job and comfort me. But if she ****_is _****so strong, it wouldn't be fair to hand her off to someone else because I can't subdue her. Who would you choose to take her on?"**

**"****I didn't say that to comfort you, dear."**

**"****Then what –"**

**"****I don't think this host would be considered for reuse."**

**"****Oh!"**

**A shiver of horror jolted down my spine. And I wasn't the only one staggered by the idea.**

**I was immediately repulsed. I was no quitter. Through the long revolutions around the suns of my last planet – the world of the See Weeds, as they were known here – I had waited. Though the permanence of being rooted begun to wear long before I'd thought it would, though the lives of the See Weeds would measure in centuries on this planet, I had not skipped out on the life term of my host. To do so was wasteful, wrong, ungrateful. It mocked the very essence of who we are as souls. We made our worlds better places; that was absolutely essential or we did not deserve them.**

"You are right. Earth is a better place now." Jared said.

"We've been wasting our planet. Our resources." Ian said.

"We've done things all wrong," Jeb finished.

**But we were ****_not _****wasteful. We did make whatever we took better, more peaceful and beautiful. And the humans ****_were _****brutish and ungovernable. They had killed one another so frequently that murder had been an accepted part of life. The various tortures they'd devised over the few millennia they'd lasted had been too much for me; I hadn't been able to bear even the dry official overviews. Wars had raged over the face of nearly every continent. Sanctioned murder, ordered and viciously effective. Those who lived in peaceful nations had looked the other way as members of their own species starved on their door step. There was no equality to the distribution of the planet's bounteous resources. Most vile yet, their offspring – the next generation, which my kind nearly worshipped for their promise – had all too often been victims of heinous crimes. And not just at the hands of strangers, but at the hands of the caretakers they were entrusted to. Even the huge sphere of the planet had been put into jeopardy through their careless and greedy mistakes. No one could compare what had been and what was now and not admit that Earth was a better place thanks to us.**

"It is actually a better place, but I don't think they should've taken it from us," Kyle admitted.

**_You murder an entire species and then pat yourselves on the back._**

**My hands balled up into fists.**

**_I could have you disposed of, _****I reminded her.**

**_Go ahead. Make my murder official._**

**I was bluffing, but so was Melanie.**

**Oh, she thought she wanted to die. She'd jumped into an elevator shaft, after all. But that was in a moment of panic and defeat. To consider it calmly from a comfortable chair was something else altogether. I could feel the adrenaline – adrenaline called into being by her fear – shoot through my limbs as I contemplated switching to a more pliant body.**

**It would be nice to be alone again. To have my mind to myself. This world was very pleasant in so many novel ways, and it would be wonderful to be able to appreciate it without the distractions of an angry, displaced nonentity who should have had better sense than to linger unwanted this way.**

**Melanie squirmed, figuratively, in the recesses of my head as I tried to consider it rationally. Maybe I should give up….**

**The words themselves made me flinch. I, Wanderer, give up? Quit? Admit failure and try again with a weak, spineless host who wouldn't give me any trouble?**

"No," Ian said. "You would never quit, Wanda."

**I shook my head. I could barely stand to think of it.**

**And… this was ****_my _****body. I was used to the feel of it. I liked the way the muscles moved over the bones, the bend of the joints and the pull of the tendons. I knew the reflection in the mirror. The sun – browned skin, the high, sharp bones of my face, the short silk cap of mahogany hair, the muddy green brown hazel of my eyes – this was me.**

**I wanted myself. I wouldn't let what was mine be destroyed.**

"That's it. Who's next?" Wanda asked.

"I'll read, love." Ian said.

She handed him the book.


End file.
